


rewriting what 𝘩𝘦 did

by Ashfen



Series: Scared of Running but Terrified of Staying [3]
Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Continued consent, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Nipple Play, Past Abuse, Past Relationships, Smut, past noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25081546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashfen/pseuds/Ashfen
Summary: A hand wandered up his shirt, and paused at the slight gasp it had generated."Are you okay with this?"The question came after lips were separated, and a wide-eyed Haruki gave a breathless nod of his head.
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Series: Scared of Running but Terrified of Staying [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136237
Comments: 8
Kudos: 285





	rewriting what 𝘩𝘦 did

They had started out with just a few chaste kisses, but it hadn't been enough for either of them - nowhere close. Akihiko was demanding entrance into his mouth and Haruki obliged without any hesitation, moaning softly as the drummer's tongue almost lazily explored along his own.  
This time was different from before. This time it was an exchange of affection, of love. A hand wandered up his shirt, and paused at the slight gasp it had generated. 

"Are you okay with this?"

The question came after lips were separated, and a wide-eyed Haruki gave a breathless nod of his head. He'd never been asked if he wanted to, if he was okay; as long as he wasn't saying no, _he_ would do whatever _he_ pleased.  
But he'd already decided for himself to not think about _him_ with Akihiko, and the other made it easier to do so as he pressed his lips to Haruki's again and ran cold fingers across his abdomen. 

Haruki's nipples were sensitive. It hadn't been something he expected to rediscover that day, but his slightly overwhelmed and very aroused mewls of pleasure were giving him some clue. 

"Keep going; you sound cute."  
His face went bright red without skipping a beat, and Akihiko laughed.  
"That's even better. Still okay?" 

"Are you gonna keep asking that?" 

"I just wanna make sure you enjoy yourself too Haruki. You never let yourself enjoy anything, so…"

"I let myself enjoy things!" 

"Name one time in the last month you gave yourself a break."

"I've been busy!" 

"Two months."

"I had four performances in two weeks…"

"Three?"  
He got quiet, sulkily turning away from Akihiko while the other sighed.  
"Haruki. Let me spoil you."

He was completely nude beneath Akihiko, whining desperately as skilled hands traced along his skin. Haruki felt ready to burst untouched, while Akihiko was still fully clothed save for a crudely tossed aside shirt. Lips mouthed over his nipples and cold fingers steadily stroked his quivering thighs.

"Aki– Akihiko, wait–" 

There was an immediate pause, and the man looked up at him with a hyper-attentive but unpressured gaze.  
"Are you alright?" 

A fervent nod.  
"I just– feel embarrassed, being the only one naked..."

Akihiko's eyebrows raised, and he chuckled low in his chest.  
"You just wanna get a full view, don't you?" 

"Maybe…"

He laughed this time. It was a gorgeous sound - Haruki would have to get a recording of it sometime - and it made him flush red.  
"Maybe I'll give you a show sometime. You can even take pictures."

"Take pic– you knew about that?!" 

"It's cute that you thought I didn't know."

"Ahhhh…..!!"

His hands went up to his face, and Haruki could hear the clink of Akihiko's belt as the man laughed again.

"Everything about you is so cute, Haruki... I'm a lucky man." 

If he hadn't been blushing already he would've been then. A lucky man. They were really together, weren't they? Dating, at least; they could think about what came after that another time. But for now Haruki had more important things to think about - a completely naked Akihiko less than a foot away from him, for example. He felt his face heat up as he resisted the urge to run his hands over the other man's body, staring in absolute awe as kisses were placed on his neck. 

"Tongue-tied, Haruki?" 

"N-no!! I'm just– appreciative of, um… Y-your body!" 

" _My_ body? You should appreciate yours more; it's soft where mine's rigid."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're pretty."  
His eyes widened, and for a few moments it felt as if his mind had disconnected from his body.  
"Do you wanna keep going?"  
He nodded again, and Akihiko grinned before sitting up and backing off, digging around the drawers of one of the nightstands.  
"I'm pretty sure I put it here, just gimme a sec."  
A few more moments of digging before Akihiko proudly presented a bottle of lube.  
"It's been awhile for you, right?"

A vague nod as Akihiko opened the cap and poured some onto his hand, rubbing it onto his dick before putting the bottle back. 

Fingers inside of him, stretching him out. He could feel every muscle in his body twitch and tremble at Akihiko's movements as he cupped his hands over his mouth to try and muffle the soft gasps and whimpers escaping him. It felt _good_ , better than he'd ever remembered it feeling before. 

"Aki– Akihiko, please…"  
Two fingers scissored inside of him. He mewled. 

"Hmm? You gotta use your words Haruki~"

A third was pushed in and Haruki _sobbed_.  
"I'm gonna– _hnn_...!"

"Gonna what? Speak up cutie."

Fuck, Akihiko spread all three inside of him, _fuck_ he was moving them separately, he was gonna cum like this and it'd be stupid and embarrassing and–  
"Stop!" 

Akihiko immediately pulled his fingers out, completely focused on Haruki in an instant.  
"Are you alright?" 

"Y-yeah, I just…"  
He looked away a bit.  
"I don't want to cum yet… and I was about to."

Akihiko stared blankly at him as he panted before the reasoning seemed to click.  
"Do you wanna keep going then?"  
He nodded, and the man shifted them a bit before holding his cock just away from Haruki's rear.  
"You're okay if I go in, right?"  
The question startled him in a way he wasn't expecting it to: he got embarrassed. His face flushed red and he quickly covered it with his hands, something that made Akihiko huff.  
"As cute as you are like that, I need a clear yes or no, okay?" 

"D-doesn't that ruin the mood?" 

"I'd rather ruin the mood than risk hurting you again."

"A… And what if I said no?"

"Well then that'd be that. I'd keep using fingers if that's what you wanted, or we'd stop right here, do some aftercare if you needed it."  
Haruki's eyes widened at that. Someone cared about if he _wanted_ to. This wasn't something he needed to feel obligated to do. It wasn't something he _had_ to do to maintain the relationship. Akihiko gently pulled the other's hands away from his face, and patiently waited for him to answer.  
Oh, his eyes were watering.  
"Uh… Haruki?" 

"I'm sorry! God, I'm so weird… I'm really sorry…"

"It's fine. Do you wanna stop?" 

"No! No, that's not it! I just… No one's ever considered what I wanted before. M-my last boyfriend, he– he never asked. Said it would ruin the mood if he did. Always assumed that if I didn't want to I'd say it myself, and… He was wrong."

"Haruki…"

His voice began to crack as tears freely flowed down his face now; he was forced to be so _exposed_ with Akihiko, he always had been. Exposed and vulnerable, be it nudity or bearing his heart for the man.

"I never had a choice, so… I-I'm sorry if I– if I get a little unnerved by it."

"Don't apologize. That's not your fault, Haruki."  
Akihiko pulled himself up to sit on his knees as he watched a still crying Haruki with a gentle expression.  
"May I touch you?"  
The man nodded shakily, and Akihiko took him into his arms.  
"You of all people probably know by now that I'm not good at this kind of thing, but… you always deserve a say in this. If you ever don't like something we're doing, it's okay to tell me. We'll stop right then and there, alright? You shouldn't expect any less from anyone."

Haruki nodded some and let out a choked laugh as he pulled away.

"I'm always the one crying, aren't I?" 

"You're more in touch with your emotions than me."

"Doesn't that make you edgy?" 

"I—"  
The man cut himself off, and seemed to think for a bit before some shocking realization dawned on him.  
" _Does it_ …?"  
That was the thing to finally make Haruki start _really_ laughing, which of course made Akihiko give him _That Look_ he had on rare occasions that just made Haruki _melt_.  
"You're so beautiful when you smile."

Oh. Flustering him like that was just plain unfair wasn't it?

"Th… the blood is going to the wrong place…"

"I can send it back down if you want."

Haruki snickered, and just like that they were kissing again. 

Haruki groaned and held tightly onto the other when Akihiko started to push into him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. The heat around him and _inside_ him was safe, and - _god, Akihiko looked so hot like that_ \- he only clung tighter the further the man pushed in. It didn't hurt, but it felt tight. 

"Still okay?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine…"

"No pain?" 

"None. And I promise to tell you if I feel any."

"And if it's a good pain?"  
_What the heck was good pain?_ Haruki could hear the grin in his voice as Akihiko bottomed out, hot breath against his ear. _Fuuuuuuuuuuck that was so hot. How did he tell him to never stop doing that without sounding like an idiot._  
He figured he could play along.  
"I'll tell you to keep it up then."

Akihiko chucked - _oh he could just come from that alone, never stop doing that_ \- and went still inside of him.

"Tell me when it's okay."

He nodded and held the man close, relishing the feeling of another person for a bit longer than he'd needed to adjust.

"... Alright, you can move."

Steady thrusts while he tightly gripped Akihiko's hand, kisses planted along his jaw. God the man looked _stunning_ on top of him like that, and having him inside was surreal. Haruki gasped with each roll of the man's hips, squeezing his eyes shut as he clung to the other. Akihiko wasn't quite rough, but the friction on its own was enough to leave him grasping for anything he could dig his nails into.  
Haruki found Akihiko's back, and the man promptly hissed and repaid the grip with a sudden, deep thrust that left Haruki seeing white as his thoughts blurred. 

The next thing he was aware of was Akihiko gently wiping at his stomach with a cloth, both of them no longer erect as Haruki returned from an overstimulated daze. 

The drummer noticed him staring, and smiled.  
"Are you back now?"  
He blinked. Back?  
"You came, and… sorta passed out for a little while."

"Oh… sorry about that."

"Don't apologize."  
Akihiko flashed a grin.  
"I took it as a compliment."  
Haruki rolled his eyes, smiled, and watched the other put the cloth down and lean in to kiss him.  
"You looked pretty before you came."

He felt his face heat up, and looked away.  
"You always think I look pretty."

"Exactly."

**Author's Note:**

> Working titles "shameless self indulgence" and "Haruki cries a lot because he's a cancer"


End file.
